There is always a concern that pushes us to preserve what we know, in order to be sure that nothing has changed.
This gives us a sense of safety. We know who we are, so we will not lose ourselves. It is our tendency for things to remain as they are in a way that is stable.
In addition, the will to change and explore exists at the same time. It is an impulse that moves us into the unknown, even though we do not understand it, because it is calm and silent. It is, we would say, the consciousness itself. Every moment invites us to say goodbye to the past, to experience this small death of our own and of the others', as we knew them until now. We can prevent it by resisting and not saying goodbye, or we can allow it by saying:
"I allow this “death” to happen to me, while at the same time I help the others by accepting their own death, I do not hinder it and I do not resist."
This is a contrast and at the same time it is a double focus of my attention, both on me and on the other person.
It’s a necessity to give up this need of ours, because of our anxiety to control and maintain this known in order to calm our fear of the unknown, as to what will follow the next moment. So this is an inward movement. On the other hand, we need to follow the outward movement, coordinating ourselves with the change and harmonizing to the environment all around us. In this second movement we are coordinated as long as we are calm and receptive so we can follow and respond to the next stimulus that life brings.
Giving up the urge to take action is a consequence of conscious focus. When fear pushes us, then we just react by full of tension, which in turn leads us to a feeling of abandonment.
When our experience is that of abandonment, it brings a mental desolation, while resignation leads us back to life in what follows. I give up means I allow something old to die and that gives space to something new to enter quietly. Thus, we consciously reduce our resistance, and the energy of life naturally finds its way into the right direction. So, all that is left for us in the end is the conscious intention to respond.
When our attention is locked in emotions evoked by memories of the past, in the present we experience abandonment. When our attention is focused on the emotions of the present, we experience a resignation, say goodbye and move on to the future.
Abandonment is the feeling we have when we feel fear in the thought of loneliness. It is like the feeling of the helpless homeless, the one who lives on the sidewalk and needs someone to be with him.
How proud does one feel when he invites others to meet through sadness? The saddest, the one whose life has no meaning, draws attention to himself and becomes the focus. It captures the attention of the people of the group to which one belongs, by circling its sorrow and grief. Disconnection as a defense dominates with the power of life within it. Self-sabotage is transferred from the past as a survival role to the present.
A moment of the future comes in the present, passes and becomes the past. So the present is no different from the future and the past. The past therefore, needs to come into the present and be examined, so as not to be repeated in the future.
So the struggle is to release our attention through resignation. We should take a step back so as to coexist with someone. This is different from the feeling of abandonment, in which we cannot be left alone as long as our attention is trapped.
When we are in abandonment we cannot give and take. And what does it mean to give? It means being able to say no with love, being receptive and at the same time not getting something we do not longer need. What does it mean to take? It means to have an open heart with an appetite for life. He who feels abandoned cannot say no with love, he can either keep saying yes or saying no without love.
Every tension makes us seek relaxation as a sense of receptivity. When we relax, after a while we feel the urge for action and an intensity for reaction. Every relaxation needs conscious attention and renunciation of impulse so as to avoid reaction and tension.